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Claro ricki o potro esos dos eran Juan Aldana no si no que potro. Who the hell does Jack Flash think he is? David Harvey walks through the doors backstage at House Party. It’s about 3 hours until go time: the ring crew are setting up the ring, Moxie Moon is running about backstage trying to get everything into order. He sees the crazy props and pyro needed for this week’s House Party. What a waste of money. Where he came from, wrestling was cheap and simple. $20 and a hot dog, a simple curtain hiding backstage, no mats outside. It was rough and ready, and it’s where the Diamondback was forged. VooDoo dolls… hokey promos… as if that would scare me. The Diamondback. Harvey walks towards the broom closet designated as his private dressing room, locking the door behind him. Moxie thought it was for the best: she needed to separate him and Flash somehow, and this was the most elegant solution. It was all she could do, she said. She couldn’t get rid of Flash, ironclad contracts, not being registered in an at-will state. What could she do? It was a wrestling company, she said. When you signed the contract, you knew exactly what you were getting in for. Everything that side of the curtain sans GBH and murder was all fair. It was the only way to get to run half their shows. He cannot break me. Beat down? Sure. But I will always get back up. I will never break. Like a diamond.... right? Harvey takes a swig of his drink. Isotonic with a hint of raspberry. Not the best drink, but it’ll do. 2 hours in the gym this morning was worth the discomfort he was feeling now. He’d made some good gains, benched pretty damn close to his record, did 3k on the treadmill. Must be all the damn stress. Gave him that extra push to get to those limits, to get past the pain to a new level. His leg still twinged, yes, and his joints had that dull weary ache of overuse, but all those pains cancel each other out. If everything hurts, nothing hurts. I CAN NOT lose. His brother phoned him that morning. Still on the wagon, still doing great. He’s got a new job now, selling air conditioning units. Seems like a great opportunity for a blowhard like him. Harvey chuckles at his own joke, then starts unpacking his bag. Gear, boots, pads, drinks, pain meds, bandages, brass knucks, pepper spray, keys, wallet, phone. Gotta be prepared for anything. Absolutely anything. It’s WiR, what couldn’t happen? I WILL NOT lose. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Harvey: If it’s Flash, fuck off. If not, come in. Voice: It’s just Chad, but… I got something you need to see. Harvey sighs. If it’s Chad’s fucking holiday pics in Malaga again, then he swears… Harvey: Ok, I’m coming out. He unlocks the door, slowly opening it. Chad Hammocks. The weediest man in WiR by far. 5 foot nothing probably, arms like pipe cleaners. He was apparently a wrestler with the Syndicate a long time ago, but… that didn’t end so well for him. Bunch of pricks. Now he’s slumming it with a tiny little indie company also propped up by the biggest energy drinks manufacturer of all time. Weird, really. That this whole company is just the plaything of the world’s first trillionaire. He takes another drink of his isotonic. Ballsweat Sportsball Pro Red Berry Big Boy. They didn’t do subtle, did Ballsweat. Hammocks: Sorry to break your mojo, but um… Flash isn’t here. Harvey: What? Hammocks: He ain’t coming. He told me to give you this, then he walked off, and listen, I didn’t want to press the point, cos you know he’d turn me inside out. Harvey: I see. Well, what did he give you? Hammocks: Just this envelope. Hammocks hands Harvey the manilla envelope, a large bulky bag, with a small box inside. He opens the bag, and peers inside. Inside is a small GPS satnav, with a small post it note attached to the screen. He pulls out the device, checking it all over. Knowing this company, at least it’s not a bomb. He reads the post it. Harvey: “Enjoy your flight, little bird. Soon, you will be caged. Meet me here, and you learn everything. ” I can’t let him get to me. He won’t get to me. He won’t. Harvey: Right, well, I’ll get my things and… um… follow this I guess. Wanna come with? Hammocks: I don’t think that’d be a great idea. I have… work… to do… here… Hammocks nervously looks over his shoulder, then runs off. Harvey: CHAD! Wai-- ah, fuck it. Welp, looks like I’m going on a road trip. Better grab my bag. Just in case. LIVE from San Francisco, California, AMERICA | Streaming via Open to a shot of Pier 70 in San Francisco, California where hundreds of screaming WiR fans line the guardrails before we settle on a shot of Paisner and Woodbridge. Crowd: YAAAAAAAY!! W-i-R! W-i-R! Paisner: Welcome everyone to another jam packed edition of House Party! I am your host, Allen Paisner and with me as always, the cookie to my cream, Mr. Mark Woodbridge! Woodbridge: I’m ready for some fuckin’ WWWWWWRESTLING! Paisner: Well then you’re in luck. Tonight we have the return of not just one, but two WiR Alumni, as KLUTCH… you heard me… FUCKING KLUTCH, returns to take on Tyler Dylan. And the Young Cardinal Joey McCarty competes against the man he screwed at AMUDOV III, Teddy Coronado, along with Sid Vasquez and WiR’s newest signee Murphy Twain for an “Unique Opportunity”. Woodbridge: And if that wasn’t enough we’ll finally settle on a #1 Contender for the Independent Title. We sign the contracts for the Tag Team Titles! Dave Peltzer sits down with our Main Event for “Same Shit, Different Year 2k17”. Brendan Byrne returns to action to take on The Strays, Logan Lee in a Lumberjack Match. Paisner: Oh my God are my pants getting tight for Kicks vs. Elbows. Woodbridge: And finally if that wasn’t enough, in our Main Event, former World Champion David Harvey takes on the man he defeated for the strap over a year ago… Jack Flash! In a No Disqualifications match! Paisner: Well what the fuck are we waiting for! Cut to Javier Babaganoush in the ring. Javier: The following contest is schedule for one fall. Crowd: ONE FALL! The light shut off, and drumming plays through the speaker. A saxophone slowly burst out, as a large man in black walks out of the entrance. Paisner: And we are back, to bring you this strange as singles match, stemmed from last week’s incident on The Periodical Show. Klutch appearing via satellite, when in reality it was all a hoax to jump Tyler Dylan, yet again. Woodbridge: And for somebody to not only return, but in such a fashion, one could only say who else but Klutch? Who other but these three weirdos would cause an attack time and time again, and for what reason? Paisner: I mean, I could think of a few? Woodbridge: I can too. Klutch slides into the ring and and stand on both knees before throwing his hands into the sky. Javier: Introducing first, representing the Internet Nomads. From Wherever He May Roam, weighing in at 295lbs, this is “THE GRUNGE KILLER” Klutch then mimics holding a shotgun. CHIK-CHIK BOOM! BOOM! Javier: KLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUTCH! He leaps onto both feet and raises his arms into the air. The music fades away, and is replaced by the distorted sounds of humming. Javier: And his opponent, from Detroit, Michigan. Weighing in at 180lbs, this TYLER DYLAN! Tyler walks out off the entrance, wearing a hooded jacket with his back turned towards Klutch. He turns around and takes off his hood… Woodbridge: Wait, that’s not- Befor he could finish his sentence, a man from the crowd leaps the guardrail, slides into the ring and clips Klutch’s right leg out from under him. He tumbles onto the ground as the man starts stomping him on to the ground. Paisner: Revenge by Camp Grunge Age, as Dave disguised himself so that Tyler could get the drop on him! DING DING DING Woodbridge: Tyler now picking up the bigger man in this fight, shoots him up and drops him for a suplex as Dave makes it to the ring for his partner. Klutch slowly turns himself off his back, but Dylan waffles him on his stomach with a senton. He doesn’t give in, and gets on his knees before making his way back up. He hits Tyler with a few punches, before whipping him off to the ropes. Tye comes back and slides under Klutch’s attack, before clipping him again in the leg. Immediate attempt at a Tye Dye Clutch, but the man with the namesake slides out and into the ropes. Tye gets up and starts stomping at his man before Mia breaks him off. Paisner: I think we’re seeing a new edge coming out of Tyler Dylan after the attack recently, as Klutch gets out of the ropes. Big right hand by Dylan connects! And another! Woodbridge: Klutch has been on roller skates so far since the start, after getting jumped from behind, and getting his leg worked on a bit, he hasn’t really gotten the upper hand. Dylan’s circling Klutch with punches, sending him spinning around the center of the ring. He rolls his arm back, setting up for one last strike, and uses it to swipe down at the right leg again. Klutch clatters to his knees, as Tyler head to the ropes, bounces off and sets up for a shining wizard. Klutch bends his back and dodges the flying leg coming at him, before spring back onto his feet. As he gets up, his right leg buckles a bit, causing him to lose his footing and head to the ropes. Dylan is back up, and runs at him. Thinking fast, Klutch sits on the bottom ropes and raises the top, setting up Tyler to falls directly into Dave on the other end. Tye stops him, and turns away from the two to which Klutch uses to his opportunity and rolls him up. 1… 2… Tyler grabs the ropes for a break before using it to send him outside for a quick breather. Klutch is on his feet, and begins clapping towards the crowd, setting him up for a dive. He runs the ropes, heads outside right leg spasms, stopping him dead. Tyler slides in, feeling the inherent danger i what almost happened and tries to go for a roll up on Klutch. He grabs at his left leg and attempts it, but Klutch uses his weight to stay up. He tugs at him again to fall, but Klutch doesn’t move. Finally, he spins into the opposite direction, elbows him in the right leg pit, and Klutch Dylan for a pin. 1… 2… 3-NO! Dylan kicks out of the literal squash and get back on his feet. Klutch is up and begins to take a hellacious series of kicks to the kidneys, followed by a roundhouse kick to the gut, sending Klutch to the ground on his knees again. Tyler, back turned to Klutch, moonsaults into the air and crowns him with a deep pele kick. Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Paisner: you know he co- Woodbridge: Why the hell would I know if he could do that?! Cover! 1… 2… 3-NO! Klutch kicks out, and Tyler gets himself back on his feet. Klutch slowly getting to his feet, greeted with slaps to the face. He gets up, and the slaps just keep raining down at him, before getting mixed with punches to the body. He lets out a roar to the crowd, before finally hitting Klutch with a loud headbutt. Klutch is on rollerskates yet again, as Tyler grabs his head and turns around. He leaps into the air and… Woodbridge: Sliver by Dy-WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! ARGENTINE REVERSAL! Klutch, with a bit strength left in him, gets out of the hold and hotshot Dylan onto his shoulders. He starts swinging him around, before sliding him off, and setting him up for a piledriver. Paisner: What the fuck!?! Y2KLUTCH! He hits it! Tyler goes flying into the air on impact before falling dead on the ground. Klutch goes for a cover, but Dave gets up onto the canvas and starts arguing with the ref. Klutch gets himself away from pinning Dylan and tries to get Mia back into the match, when someone slides out of the crowd. He slides into the ring, and as Klutch turns around, he gets tackled by the assailant! Woodbridge: SPEAR! SPEAR BY THE UNKNOWN ADDITION! Paisner: Oh no, not like this. Why does someone have to help Tye Dye win a match like this. The man drags Dylan’s body over Klutch’s, and gets out of the ring before Mia turns around. She counts the pin! 1… 2… 3… DING DING DING Javier: Time of the fall, 6:12. Here is your winner, Tyler Dylan! Dave heads into the ring and tries to wake up Dylan. As he slowly comes to, SUENO rushes to ringside. The three men hightail out of the ring and back into the crowd, Dylan grabbing the mic as they go. Dylan: Yeah, that’s fucking right. Guess who’s laughing now, huh? You think you’re going to beat my ass up because you have a secret weapon up your sleeve. Well, come SSDY, say hello to mine. After all, you couldn’t possibly hurt this guy. The man demasks, revealing himself to be … The Garcia’s heart collectively sinks, as he grabs the mic.??? : You fuckers abandoned me the second I wasn’t good enough for your “standards”. Meanwhile, I had to put up all the work. I was the one who helped you beat The Strays time and time again, and that fat fucking piece of garbage gets you love, gets your respect? Come Sunday, there will be no odes to me, I’m just going to take what mine. Dylan: Grunge Lyfe Worldwide, bitches! Ahahahaha. Dylan’s theme plays, as Felix and Andrew kneels over their fallen friend. [COMMERCIAL -- WiR’s House Party is sponsored by… BALLSWEAT! Try our newest flavor: Pomegranate Heart Palpitation! DO IT! DRINK BALLSWEAT! The energy drink that acts like a drug, only it comes in a can with COOL COLORS! ] We cut to the completely black screen marred by the sounds of heavy breathing and the occasional fart. The darkness is broken up by the sudden flip of a light switch which illuminates a single dusty light bulb that hangs by a cord from the top of the room, slowly swinging back and forth. Right under the light sits Dewey Needler, who’s eyes flinch at the sudden presence of light. After his eyes begin to adjust, Rex Hammer abruptly slips into the light, flicking away a cigarette butt from his lips. Hammer: So, “Dewey Needler, ” is it? Needler: snort What’s the deal with this? I was perfectly happy enjoying a block of me– burp –loaf in the locker room until you dragged me into this closet. Hammer: You weren’t eating a piece of meatloaf Mr. Needler, you were eating an old loofa covered in ketchup. Needler: And I was likin’ it! Hammer: Well, I’m sure there’s a lot of unorthodox things that taste good to you. Tell me Mr. Needler, how often do you consume the energy drink known as Ballsweat? Needler: fart I drink at least ten cans a day! How else am I supposed to get my– cough –weekly recommended levels of vitamin B12? Hammer: Hmm, interesting. Do you enjoy multiple flavours of this Ballsweat drink? Needler: Pfft, “do I enjoy multiple flavours? ” I LIVE and BREATH multiple flavours of Ball– cough –sweat! Hammer: So you like flavours such as Bombastic Blueberry? Needler: Yes! Hammer: Levitating Lime? Needler: Of course! Hammer: Stupendous Strawberry? Needler: Mmhm! Hammer: Mind-controlling-Sonny-Carson-and-making-him-do-your-bidding? Needler: Absolut–wait, what? Hammer: Haha! I’ve got you you scoundrel! And it’s all on tape! Needler: Whoa. that’s not fair! You tricked me into saying– fllllrrrruuppp that! Hammer: A confession is a confession, Mr. Needler! You and Sonny’s reign of terror has finally come to end! Needler: I’m not the one doing it! Why would I ever do that? Hammer: Because maybe Mr. Needler, you were sick and tired of being regulated as an enhancement talent! You couldn’t stand to watch your peers make more money than you, have more fans than you, gain more recognition than you, so one day when you stumbled upon a mysterious Book, you used it to control Sonny Carson to unleash chaos upon a roster you were jealous of! Needler: No! I love being an enhancement talent! I mean, I get paid to wrestle for less than three minutes at a time AND I get free travel? Hammer: I don’t think WiR provides its talent with complimentary travel. Needler: They don’t? Shit! No wonder I’m in debt! Either way, I have no clue about this Boo– BLARGH –ook and I ain’t controlling Sonny! Hammer: Hmm, well, now that I think about it, you certainly aren’t smart enough to be able to pull off something like that. Needler: No, I’m not! Hammer: Damn it! I guess the first name on this list is a bust. But I still have two suspects left and I know one of them is the culprit, I can feel it in my gut! Needler: Can I go now! Hammer: Rex Hammer, AWAY! Hammer flips his trench coat dramatically as he flees the room, shutting the door and turning off the light behind him, leaving Needler all alone in the darkness. Needler: Hello? fart Javier stands in the middle of the ring, a sheet-covered table and 5 chairs set up. Javier: Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the WiR Tag Title Match contract signing! This contract will be signed for "Same Shit, Different Year" for the WiR Tag Championships! Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYY! Woodbridge: Solving legal stuff in a wrestling ring? It can only go well. Bad Boys by Inner Circle plays, as Andrade Allegra storms out, fuming. He looks straight towards the ring, focus fixed. Behind him, a slightly melancholy looking Mil Leones Jr. walks behind. Crowd: YAYYYY! As Mil walks down to the ring, interacting with fans and the children in the crowd, Andrade quickly slides into the ring and starts pacing around. Paisner: Generation Mex have been having ruggles against the BBC. It all started when the BBC tried to nuke most of the WiR tag division, including Gen Mex. Gen Mex came exceptionally close to winning the tag titles at "Thanks, Obama. " However, a miraculously healed Buster Bravado was able to cheat Andrade out of a pinfall victory. Woodbridge: The already present tension between Andrade and Mil has escalated, with Mil playing the good cop to Andrade's "Knock your fucking brains out" cop. It's gone even wilder when on Late Night Regrets, Andrade was about to assault the BBC with a barbed wire baseball bat, but was knocked out by his own partner, Mil Leones. Paisner: So, tensions are high between Gen Mex and the BBC, as well as between themselves. As Andrade sits on a chair, silently, Mil gives a spare mask to a child in the audience. Mil slides into the ring, and pulls up a chair next to Andrade. Mil tries to make small talk, but Andrade stays silent. Woodbridge: If these two can't work together, I think their chances of winning the tag titles are as good as none. Paisner: That's bad for all of us! They lose their opportunity for tag gold in WiR, and we'd have to deal with the torture of having the BBC be the tag champs. Domo23 by Tyler The Creator plays, to the delight of absolutely no one. Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO! Suddenly, out of the curtain, Buster Bravado, Sierra Briggs, and Charlie Krieger ride out in a golf cart. Paisner: Oh, this can only end well. As Gen Mex look on with befuddlement written on their faces, the BBC drive down. Krieger sits on the top of the golf cart, showing off his WiR tag title and his plastic, less valuable KWF World Title. Woodbridge: The hosts of Late Night Regrets, the BBC have been terrorizing the WiR Tag division for months, even to the point of trying to nuke them. However, we'll see if they can deal with two of the most talented workers in WiR in Gen Mex. As Buster and Charlie hoot and holler, Sierra parks abruptly in front of the ring. Krieger then topples forward and off the golf cart. Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYY! However, Krieger lands onto his feet. Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The BBC all enter the ring, showing off their tag gold. They seat, as the crowd dwindles down in their booing. Javier comes in with the contract. Paisner: Now, this contract also doubles as a liability waiver, right? Woodbridge: It does! If it didn't, we'd be responsible for Andrade having Buster's balls as a hood ornament. As Javier sets down the contract, Krieger snatches it from his hand. He starts to read it over, intently. Krieger: Mmm, okay. Very good, okay. Good, okay. Okay, intriguing, okay. Buster, what do you think? Krieger hands the contract over to Buster Bravado: Oh, okay. Alright. Okay. Seems good. The bored crowd starts booing at the boringly contemplative duo. Buster and Krieger continue to look at the contract, with an occasional look of approval. Paisner: Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, just end it already! Allegra: Can you two just hurry the fuck up? Krieger: CAN YOU HAVE SOME GODDAMN PATIENCE, CHILD?! Allegra: WHO ARE YOU CALLING "CHILD, " PUTO? Before Krieger and Allegra stab each other, their partners each pull each other apart and back into their seat. Crowd: DUKE-IT-OUT! DUKE-IT-OUT! DUKE-IT-OUT! Buster: SHUT UP! Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!! Krieger and Allegra stare at each other, as Buster and Mil awkwardly exchange glares. Sierra, bored out of her mind, fiddles with her phone. Buster: Listen, we both want to get this done. We have deals to sign, you have tacos to make, so let's get this done. Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO! Paisner: Ooh, getting real racist with it. Woodbridge: I mean, we are the company that had Los Chongas and Tyler Dylan. Paisner: Fair enough. Buster pulls out a pen and goes to sign the contract, but Andrade slaps the pen out of Buster's hand. Crowd: OOOH! Buster glares at Gen Mex with spite. Buster: What the hell is your problem? Allegra: What the hell is yours? Why do you sign first? Krieger: We are the champs! Buster: It's true! Krieger: We are the tag team champions! We get first signing privileges! Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO! Krieger and Buster nod agreeably. Allegra: You two assholes don't deserve these titles! You do not get to walk over us! You do not sign first! Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOH! Krieger stands up, knocking his chair over. Krieger: We don't get to sign first? We don't deserve the titles? Regale me, why is that? Leones: I mean, to be fair, we didn't even get a chance to look at the contract. Allegra: Finally making some sense, Mil. Listen, perro, you children walk all over the legacy of this title. You are all a bunch of entitled pricks! Allegra stands up as well, knocking his chair over as well. Krieger: You two do not deserve to even look at the titles, let alone this contract! We worked too damn hard for this shit! Allegra: Worked hard? You've cheated your way into the titles, and you've cheated your way out of every defense! Instead of working hard, defending that title, training every minute, you fought a bunch of children for plastic shit! You needed HELP to fight children! Crowd: OOOOH! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Buster rises up, not knocking his chair over. However, he nudges his chair, knocking it over. Buster: We don't deserve these titles? We have every reason to be entitled. We are a new generation of wrestlers, yet we were passed by, by a scared company that didn't want change! You found success because of your lineage, we found success because we were the lords of the game! We may have taken advantage of the rules, but to win, you have to do anything. You know that, Andrade. In fact, you've cheated quite a bit, even to your own partner! Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO! Paisner: To be fair, he's not entirely wrong. Woodbridge: Can’t trust a Mexican, can ya? Honestly, we can’t get that wall up soon enough. Paisner: Sigh… Mil stands up, glaring at Buster. Buster: No, don't try to defend your partner, he may be your ally now, but just wait. Just wait. You two can't trust each other anymore. Mil, you took your partner's chance for revenge. You try to be this goody two-shoes, but you are a weight on your partner's back. Krieger, Sierra, and I are more tight knit than you two ever were! Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO! Buster grins, as Mil gives a dirty look at the BBC. Krieger: Go on, Mil. Krieger winks, as Mil raises the mic to his mouth. Mil: Andrade and I may have had our issues, but come Sunday, I hope you realize how much blood and sweat we've put into this industry, how much blood and sweat we've put into this ring, and how much blood and sweat we will beat out of you! Crowd: YAYYYYYYY! Mil: No matter how much you throw at us, how much you hurt us, how much you cheat us, we will be the tag team champions. This may seem laughable now, but you will be shoving your words down your own throat when you are lying on the mat! Paisner: Hopefully, that is a true prediction. Andrade pats Mil on the back, smirking at the BBC. Krieger: FUCK YOU! Don't try to pull this smug fucking shit at us, you flippy cunt! Andrade laughs. Krieger: DON'T FUCKING PATRONIZE ME! WE ARE THE BEST IN THE GAME! WE'VE BLED OUR ENTIRE LIVES INTO THIS COMPANY! YOU WILL NOT TAKE THESE TITLES! Andrade stops laughing, as the entire BBC stand, ready to fight Gen Mex. Allegra: Okay, compadre. You can sign first. Krieger stops being angry, has a look of befuddlement slapped on his face. Krieger: Really? Allegra: Yeah! Mil: Andrade, are you su- Allegra: I'm sure. Krieger signs the contract, smiling smugly. Krieger: Thanks, fellas, see you Sunday! Andrade: No problem. Andrade grabs the contract and starts signing it. Andrade: You know, it needs one more thing. Buster: What? Andrade looks up. Andrade: Your stamp of approval! Andrade grabs Buster's head and smashes it against the contract. Buster stumbles back and over the ropes. Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYY! Krieger: WE'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED! INITIATE ATTACK! Sierra flips the table at Gen Mex. Krieger and Briggs start throwing punches at Gen Mex, as Gen Mex throw swift strikes back. Paisner: HERE IT GOES! THE TRADITIONAL CONTRACT SIGNING BRAWL! Woodbridge: Just sit back and watch! Buster runs in, clutching his nose. As he joins the brawl, Krieger backs out after getting kicked in the gut by Andrade. Krieger: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! STOP! The two teams stop brawling to look at Krieger. Krieger: Guys, we are wrestlers! We can solve this how we should solve them! Listen, Andrade, I was the one who you want. I rented the taco costumes, I left the inconspicuous lead pipe near the Late Night Regrets set! I am your villain! FIGHT ME, YOU MEXICAN CUCK! Andrade rushes towards Krieger, as Mil pulls him back. Andrade: I'LL KILL YOU! Krieger: We can do it in the ring! WONG, GET IN HERE! Mil pulls Andrade back to the corner opposite Krieger. Mil exits the ring, along with Buster and Sierra. As stagehands clean the ring, Wong and Javier enter the ring. Javier: This impromptu match is scheduled for one fall! Crowd: YAYYYYYY! Javier: This match has a 15 minute time limit! Your official for this match is Tai Ni Wong! Introducing the challenger, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! Weighing in at 226 pounds, he is the one-half of the WiR Tag Team Champions with the BBC, and the KWF World Champion! He is Charlie Krieger! Crowd: BOOOOOO! Krieger soaks in the adoration from the crowd. Javier: And his opponent! From Ciudad Juárez, Mexico! Weighing in at 235 pounds, Andrade Allegra! Crowd: YAYYYYYYY! Wong calls for the start of the match. DING DING DING Out of the gate, Andrade hits Krieger with a running corner dropkick. Crowd: YAYYYYY! Paisner: Starting this match off with a bang! Specifically, a running dropkick! As Krieger slumps in the corner, Andrade continues his assault with brutal chops to Krieger. Crowd: WOOOO! WOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Woodbridge: Andrade giving Krieger stiff chops to the chest! Wong separates Andrade from Krieger, as Krieger reels in the corner. Andrade backs up, as Krieger tries to catch his breath. Woodbridge: Krieger given no room to breathe, Andrade is absolutely relentless! Andrade goes to pull Krieger out of the corner, but Krieger kicks his knee and shoves Andrade into the corner. Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Paisner: Krieger with the tide turner! Woodbridge: Going after the knee as well! Smart for the traditional Lucha style! Krieger delivers a hard slap to Andrade's chest, welting it instantly. Crowd: OOOOOOOH! Paisner: God! What a slap from Krieger! Krieger then backs up to the opposite corner. He starts wiping his feet on the mat. Woodbridge: Wh-what the fuck is he doing? Paisner: I don't know! Krieger then charges and delivers a running leaping headbutt to the cornered Andrade. Crowd: OOOOOH! Paisner: Krieger with the kamikaze! Krieger then starts to strut around the ring, clutching his head occasionally. Krieger: WOO! I FEEL SO GREAT! I SEE SMELLS! Bravado: That's the concussion, probably! Keep it up! Krieger then goes to pull Andrade out of the corner. He yanks Andrade down and tucks his head between his legs. Krieger: IT'S ALL OVER, FOLKS! GO HOME! Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Krieger slings Andrade's body up and onto his shoulder. Paisner: Oh, no! He's going for his new move! The Money Store! Krieger slings Andrade up and twists him around, but Andrade lands on his feet and pushes Krieger into the ropes. Crowd: YAYYYYY! Krieger runs towards the ropes and flips, trying for a handspring. However, Andrade hits the upside-down Krieger with a superkick. Crowd: YAYYYYYYY! Paisner: OH! SUPERKICK! SUPERKICK TO KRIEGER! Woodbridge: I THINK I JUST CAME! Krieger slinks down, as Andrade goes for the cover. 1! 2! 3! NO! Wong pulls Andrade off. Andrade, angry, argues with Wong. Wong points out that Krieger's leg is on the ropes. Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Woodbridge: Krieger saved with the rope break! Andrade could've had it in the bag! Andrade pulls Krieger up, Krieger staggering about. Andrade throws a straight jab towards Krieger's jaw. Andrade throws a few more hooks at Krieger's head, as Krieger stumbles about. Paisner: Some hard strikes from Andrade! Andrade throws a wild haymaker at Krieger, only for Krieger to duck. Andrade spins around, allowing Krieger to hit him with an atomic drop. Paisner: Oh! An atomic drop! Krieger pulls Andrade in again. Krieger: HIROSHIMA! Krieger then hits a bridging German suplex on Andrade. Crowd: OOOOOH! Paisner: OH! WHAT A COMBO! Wait, what did he call it? Woodbridge: Hiroshima, Allen. Paisner: AUGH! Wong goes for the count. 1! 2! THR- KICK OUT Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYY! As Andrade rolls over, Mil starts slapping the mat, trying to rally support. Paisner:... Y'know, it's bad enough that move is called Hiroshima, but the fact that it has an atomic drop makes it ten times worse. Krieger rises up, noticing the downed Andrade. He hits him with a standing elbow drop. Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Bravado: YAY! Krieger then hits another elbow drop on Andrade. Paisner: He's going for the Powers That Be! He just needs the final one! Krieger then goes to the outside apron. He flips off Andrade and leaps onto the rope. Paisner: OH, WAIT! Andrade catches Krieger with a scoop powerslam! Crowd: AHHHHHHHHHH! YAYYYYY! Woodbridge: AHH! POWERSLAM! POWERSLAM! HE REVERSED IT! HE SWINDLED KRIEGER! Paisner: WHAT A REVERSAL, HE COULD'VE WON THE MATCH! Andrade goes for the pin. 1! 2!! 3? NO! Andrade was yanked off Krieger by Sierra! Andrade: GET OFF ME! Wong goes to reprimand Sierra, as Andrade pulls Krieger up by the hair. Paisner: Oh, he's going for the end! Andrade puts Krieger into pumphandle position for the Whale Hunt, as Krieger struggles to get out. Woodbridge: Bounty Hunt! Krieger, however, is able to struggle out. Still clutching Andrade's arm, he twists around, wrenching it. He pulls him into a knee strike, but Andrade ducks and flips Krieger over. Krieger lands on his feet and runs towards the post. Crowd: BOOOOO! Paisner: Krieger got out of the Bounty Hunt, only to miss It's Always Bloody In Philadelphia, only to get out of a back body drop! Woodbridge: These two are desperate to hit that final move! Krieger tries to rest in the corner, only for Andrade to run up and perform a monkey flip. However, Krieger lands on his feet yet again. Krieger sprints to the corner. He rebounds off. Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH! Woodbridge: Krieger is going Houdini with these escapes! Krieger charges at Andrade and attempts to hit a leaping big boot. Crowd: AHHHHHHHH! However, Andrade grabs Krieger's leg in the nick of time and flips him onto his back. Crowd: YAYYYYYYYY! Andrade then grabs Krieger's legs and pulls him in. Andrade then starts to twist, attempting a Liontamer. Crowd: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Paisner: Andrade is trying the Trump Card! Trump Card! Krieger: AHHHHHHHH! HELP! HELP! HELP! PLEASE! Andrade is able to fully get Krieger turned over, as Krieger screams. Krieger: HELP ME! HELP ME! Buster: HOLD ON, CHARLIE! Sierra and Buster pull golf clubs out of the back of the golf cart and rush to Mil. Sierra then whacks the golf club across Mil's back. Crowd: OOOOOOOH! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Woodbridge: Oh! Sierra and Buster with golf clubs! Sierra and Buster start battering Mil with the golf clubs, Sierra's already warped from the first strike. Andrade notices and instantly starts running to the ropes. Paisner: Andrade coming to the aid of Mil! Andrade threatens the duo, as Buster clutches Mil's head and grins. Andrade: I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL HAVE YOU BOTH FUCKING DEAD! Andrade clutches the ropes and goes to leap over, but Krieger underhooks him and rolls him with a pin. Krieger pushes his leg against the rope, as the oblivious Wong goes for the count. Paisner: ROLL UP! 1! 2! 3! DING DING DING Krieger rolls outside quickly, as the BBC celebrate. Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! As trash is flung at the BBC, they run to the golf cart and awkwardly drive out. Paisner: Krieger had his foot on the ropes and Wong didn't notice! Buster and Sierra distracted Andrade! They screwed Allegra! Javier: And here is your winner, at 9 minutes and 59seconds! Charlie Krieger! Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! Allegra angrily sits, fuming. Woodbridge: They also made a very quick escape, probably to avoid mutilation from Andrade. Andrade rolls out the ring and starts to storm to the back. Woodbridge: Wait, Andrade is not helping his partner to the back. Mil, bloodied and beaten, lies on the padded floor. Andrade looks back, only to walk through the curtain. Paisner: Who knows what will happen between these two teams? It's only a matter of victory or defeat. https://tinyuid.com/ZBRlLE https://tinyuid.com/ZBRlLE Los leones map. Los leones hike. Los leones cast. I still remember when this came out, it was lit and still is...